While You Were Asleep

While You Were Asleep

I closed the door as easily as I could. And yet, despite my precautions, the door handle made a little “click” … My breathing freezes ; I was afraid not to be woken you up.

Because you were in search of the lost dreams…

***
If you knew, my beloved one, how many times I woke up during the night so I could look at you! Every time I had my head resting in the palm of my hand and through the dimmed light of our room I admired your arms thinking they were made of ivory; I watched your sweet face and to me seemed to radiate light just like a candle in a church altar; I gently touched your skin – I was afraid not to wake by doing it – and I sighed, fascinated by it softness …

And my love for you was bigger than our room where you laid asleep!

There were nights with full moon. And our room was filled up to the ceiling with a light made of cold and silver; it was then when my eyes were thirsty and reached out for your body shape; I admired your forms and your contours; I gently fondled your hair that was shinning like a piece of jade in the silence of the night; and I was fascinated by what I saw!

I wanted to tell you how much I love you…

But you were so asleep …!

I got off of bed after my mind and my body were fully filled by your body image, being asleep; I went to the wide open window of our room and I took a deep breath; the scorching heat of the night and the ripe odors of the summer were deeply bitten of my senses; I lit a cigarette and I slowly turned my head once again to you: you still were asleep …

I have strange dreams sometimes; I could wake up with my heart galloping – or I am on the edge of a crazy laughing other times; I wanted to tell you all of them; each and every time I took a deep breath as I wanted a declamations, but the words did not dare to go out in the gloomy atmosphere …

Because every time I looked at you I noticed you were asleep …

You’ll never know about those nights. Because you were never awake to see that so-in-love look I got into my eyes, or I listen to the whispers of the varlet was telling to his beloved Princess he was serving; nights remained ordinary “nights” and the moon, with its huge cold disc – remained still distant; was only me the one who so blurred dark shapes and I was alone when the words chocked me but yet they remained hooked inside of me, refusing to come out.
There were countless nights like those ones and I have smoked a lot in the window frame.

And yet you were long asleep…